Guilt..

Do you ever have days where you feel guilty for the things you're blessed with? Sometimes I feel guilty that I work two jobs just to support what some may call my shopping addiction. I don't really have a plan for the money that I make. I end up just spending whenever and wherever. Since Christmas season is approaching I often have thoughts going through my head about how blessed I am to have the family I do. They support me physically, mentally, emotionally, financially etc... I often hear people talking about how they can't afford their other bills let alone Christmas. I feel guilty, I told one of my friends that sometimes I come real close to just giving up one of my paychecks to children so they can enjoy a Christmas that I have had in my childhood. Have I ever done it? NO. Is that greed? Possibly. I don't want to be like that. I want to believe that money isn't a must have for me but when it comes down to just giving it away to those in need I'm at a stand still almost. I don't want to sound like I never given because I do. I just feel like I should give more!
On another note... I had my first flat tire today on my way to school. I kind of had a gut feeling because we were suppose to take it to the tire shop a couple of weeks ago due to a vibration. Well today was my lucky day. I totally ruined my tire. It has holes all the way around it. Thank goodness, Kate was behind us to take us to school. I had a test in my first class @ 8. That afternoon my dad went and fixed it and took it to get 3 more new tires. When I came home from school he drove in with my car. He was saying "you should be riding in style with them $500 tires." I said that's insane for 3 tires. He goes "well I got you roadside assistants because I might not always be around." I told him not to say that. Then I got to thinking, you never know. God has his plans and we have ours and they may be totally different. To add to my guilt theme, I began to feel guilty that I still have my dad and I have to watch family suffer over their loss. No I don't want my dad gone. I just don't want to see others hurt. It makes me hurt! If you guys haven't read Britt's blog today, I think it's a must read. I'll be honest I read it 3 times! I love her and I know I can't say that enough. The love she has for our God is truly amazing! She can truly write her emotions down and I hope God gives her strength to continue doing what she is. I'm so proud of her and the life she's making for herself. :)
Well, tomorrow is another busy day. I have to work at the Preschool and then come home and work on a project that I've put off for toooooo long. Hope the week is going well :)
Hang in there!