Monday, June 1, 2009

Close your eyes & Anticipate

I'm just going to spill wants on my heart and in my head everyday. I don't want you to think I'm a drag, I still have my own struggles.
I couple of weeks ago at PS/CC(work), some kids were picking/talking about how Ethan B. doesn't have a mom. Ethan was quick to say "YES I DO, SHE'S IN HEAVEN." He went on telling these children that if you close your eyes really tight you can see her. Good thing I had sunglasses on because the tears just came. This little boy melts my heart. Sometimes the children don't understand exactly whats going on but we try and make him feel comfortable. One day Ms. Nikki was talking to the children about the thunder and lightening. She was explaining that they shouldn't be scared because lightening was just angels taking pictures and thunder was just angels bowling. Ethan says, "I bet my mom is bowling a strike." Anticipate. I'm always anticipating what God has in store for me next. I know that sometimes I get upset at this job BUT I know I was put their for a reason. God was with us Friday when we raised over $300 for Team Andrea(Relay for Life) just by doing a simple Lemonade stand. The kids loved it and I enjoyed being with them and raising money for such a great cause. All of it was going to cancer research! God is truly amazing!!
My family was here this past week. I miss them dearly. Parker is getting ready to have his hip surgery on June 5. I'm scared to death. I can't be there. I can't know enough information fast enough and I'm worrying TOO much. I want this to be perfect and for him to do well. I have to tell myself over and over again that God won't give me more than I can handle!
My Haiti mission trip is two weeks away. I'm stressed that I'm not mentally and emotionally ready for this trip. I'm excited with how God is working in my life. I continue to pray that He is with me and guides me through this trip.
Marriage?... One of my best friends in high school got married this weekend. I knew it was coming just didn't know when. I'm shocked because I didn't think it would effect me the way it does. I remember going to her sisters wedding and I just can't believe I didn't even know where or when she was getting married. I know we haven't talked in years and I don't even know why we don't talk but I guess I'm hurt. I never really thought my life would turn out like this. I've lost some good friends over the years and reasons that I'll never know. But I hope they have a wonderful life and I wish them well.
Maybe God is pushing me towards certain people that I have yet to meet. I will agree that I've had many struggles this past year and I'm not sure how to cope or deal with them. But I'm still anticipating what God has in store for me. Just please keep me in your prayers along with those who have the same struggles. I know God has a bigger plan I just don't know what it is yet. Sometimes it's as easy as closing your eyes and picturing what's coming next!
Have a good night!