Today was just a rainy day and this song(Bring the rain (on my playlist)) seemed to be stuck in my head. I had a little break down on the way to school this morning. It doesn't take much anymore. My dad has been straightening out his life insurance and other important things this week. I know he wants to make sure we're taken care of when he's gone. He's taken this really hard. Which is understandable Jim wasn't just his uncle. Growing up they were more like brothers being so close in age. Tonight he made the comment that we needed to put away their family picture because it makes him think that he should be driving past our house. My heart hurts and I just scream inside wanting everything to be okay. For this pain to go away for our families. A girl I work with at the preschool loves to talk about how each season she goes out to her husbands grave and puts something seasonal by his name. I think she said he's been gone for like 8 years. I didn't have the nerve to tell her to stop. My thoughts were sad and only lead to one thing. With this song "bring the rain" it says..
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain
I am yours regardless of the clouds that may loom above
because you are much greater than my pain
you who made a way for me suffering your destiny
so tell me whats a little rain
To be honest since Nov. 3 I pray more than before. There are times throughout my day something will pop into my head that makes my heart hurt and pray to God to help me. I need His guidance. I had a dream one night that felt so real. I was sitting at a softball game that Jim coached. I can tell you who was sitting beside me and exactly where I was sitting. Jim had walked up to the fence in his gym shorts and Barr-Reeve T-shirt and said "hey Chels." At that moment I woke up and remembered it was only a dream. But the way he said my name, it's one of those things I would always recognize.
I guess what I'm struggling with today is why God brings us pain? We know he has a reason but why doesn't it go away. This song to me, means that if times like things bring us closer to Him, then continue to bring the rain.
About Me
- Chels
- I'm 19 and attend VU for Early Childhood Education. I have a wonderful family filled with lots of love and compassion. My friends are one in a million and God is the center of my life. I try and do good by His word but sometimes fail. I hope this blog allows me to spread God's word and mercy! Enjoy!
1 comment:
love you girl!!!
& something soo weird.. i had a random dream, like i always do, but for some reason i remember this from a couple weeks ago.. jim was randomly in my dream. & i woke up thinkin he has been in all our hearts & in our thoughts soo much. i dream about things that i think about during the day. just for a funny thought, my car broke down in spencer last night on the way back to school & derrick had to come get me. while i waited on them to come get me, i played this silly cake decorating game on my laptop & a matching game. that night i had a dream that i was in a cake race & i had to find 4 cakes that were all alike. how random?! but it just shows me that what we think about, is what we dream about. So keep him in your heart & on your mind, he'll come say hey again every once in a while i'm sure!
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