Just what I need..

"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe." ~Gail Devers

My last post was all but glamorous. I promised this would be a positive post! I got to thinking about a "new" friend. I realized that God put her in my life for a reason. He knew I needed her in my life even if I didn't know why. She goes out of her way to make my day/night better. I know some of her struggles and she knows mine. For example, after she read my last post she text me and let me know that she was here for me! Wow! Words can't explain how much that meant to me! She didn't text me because she felt like she had to, but only out of the kindness of her heart. She's also going on the Haiti mission trip with me! Which is so exciting! So, I know this special friend will read this post and I just want to tell you that you're an amazing person and you have blessed me! Thank you for everything!

Here are some random of topics of interest this week:
Everyone should watch; Dancing with the Stars, Why? Because Melissa(from the bachelor) is on there and she's amazing!! lol Comes on Monday nights, and tuesday night is when people get kicked off.

Last Thursday night I met the Governor of Indiana Mitch Daniels. Haha His only words to me were... "you look good in green"... maybe cause I had a My man Mitch green shirt on?!?! hmm He shoke my hand and that was about it..


I got to see baby Ciara again last Friday, Shes almost two weeks old: Look at those cubby checks! I recieved this picture while sitting in class! :( But when I got there to hold her she was awake! Kinda! lol

This is from Gage's Gym Rats Tourney! They won! He did such a great job I'm proud of him and his team! :)

I had a good weekend, and it was just what I needed! Saturday night it was girl's night out! We ate at Mi Pueblo and then came back to my house and looked at old pictures and played euchre! It was great to catch up.
Hope everyone is having a good week! Remember to keep your head up!

Love always~

Alone?

Today was my first day at preschool, since Ethan has been back. When I got there he was in my room sleeping like an angel. :) I just wanted to go over to him and snuggle with him. When we woke up, Ethan wanted me to read to him. We read... Puppy goes to school?.. i think that's what it's called. As I was reading my mind drifted to his mom. Wondering what she's thinking about up there? Is she sad or happy...
I wasn't even going to write on here tonight. This is something that I just wanted to keep to myself but it's hard. I was reading a follow bloggers page and it said to talk to someone even if it's a computer. So that's what I'm doing. When Ethan's dad came to pick him up today my heart was crushed into tiny pieces of glass. You could see in his eyes all the pain and hurt he was still having to deal with, while being strong for his little boy. (Ethan looks so much like his mom) Good thing I had sunglasses on because my eyes were full of tears. I left preschool around 5 and headed to the Y. I seem to do my best thinking there.
..........I don't know how to explain how I feel. I only wanted to call one person this afternoon. But I knew that this person and I haven't been the same over the last few months. Our lives have changed dramatically. I knew she would be able to help and just "listen" to me. I knew she is the only person that would "get me." Yes, I have other friends but I just wanted this ONE. I know she's struggling with her own battles, but at that selfish moment, I needed her. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to call. I wouldn't even know where to start a conversation.
Then I got to thinking about my other friends. I don't ever really see them or talk to them? I feel so alone sometimes and I guess today is just one of those days when I wanted a friend to talk to and didn't have anyone. I think this is another reason my relationship with God has blossomed over the past few months and in that sense I'm not complaining.
OK ok enough of this depressing stuff... I PROMISE my next post will be a happy one. I have pictures of Gage's Gym Rats weekend.
My song of the week: The Climb by Miley Cyrus, the lyrics are amazing! here are some that struck me the most.
The struggles I'm facin'
The chances I'm takin'
Sometimes the knock me down but
No I'm not breakin'
I may not know it
But these are the moments that I'm gonna remember most
Just gotta keep goin'
And I gotta be STRONG
Just keep pushing on
Cause there's always gonna be another mountain..

I've added the song to my play list if you wanna hear all of it.
Have a good rest of the week!
Continue to pray for the Boes family, they still have a lot of healing to do!
Love ya all! Goodnight

She's Finally HERE!!

Ciara is finally here! Sorry I don't know how to turn the picture :( But she's beautiful! She arrived Wednesday afternoon and weighed 7lbs! I went to held her last night, so tiny! When we were on our way home I already wanted to go back and hold her! I love her and her family so much! I'm glad everything went smoothly!

I've had an up and down roller coaster of a week. It all started I think Sunday evening, I was working and I was told that Andrea Boes, was in her final days. I was trying to keep professional and not cry but I was fighting back the tears. If you don't already know her little boy Ethan is in Cardinal Care in which I work. I have grown to love him dearly. Monday came and it was my first day back to school after spring back. It was no fun. My body just wanted to be laying in bed! Tuesday, came and I went to school only one class WO WO! Then I went to mom's work to take pictures of Ciara before she arrived! (belly shots) I was working on a "project" for them. It turned out very cute. Ciara was coming early and I knew her mommy was nervous and scared. Tuesday night, Janell and Sarah were home for spring break so we had a girls night! We went to Bobes and then to Lyss's to play Rockband and Wii. I'm not any good. Then I got the news...

Andrea had gone to be with Jesus. Right at that moment my life froze. I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to cry in front of my friends. Sometimes it happens but I just don't want them to see me at my lowest. So, I went out to my car(sorry girls i left) and put my head down and just let the tears come. I prayed to comfort for that family, even Ethan. I continuously prayed! Probably about five to ten minutes later I went back in and tried to continue my night that I was having. I felt bad and every way. I didn't want to be the party pooper. But my mind was elsewhere.

Wednesday came, I knew Ciara was coming around 1:15. I felt like I was talking to God ALL DAY! poor guy! lol.. I wanted everything to be okay with Ciara and her family! I just didn't think I could handle another sadness.God was listening Ciara was perfect and mommy is doing awesome!

Friday, the day went pretty well, until I came home from work/cc. Friday was the viewing for andrea and on the way home, I had want I call an "emotional breakdown." To be honest, I was at the point, thinking I need one reason not to be angry with God right now. Of course I didn't want to think that, I was upset. When I calmed down I remembered that God gives and He takes away! Andrea is living in Heaven and Ethan will get to see her again one day! I think my thoughts were how can you take a 4 yr old away from his mom? But I have to remember God has "Bigger plans" as I was reading some other blogs I came across something Andrea had said and it's so true. Always Look at Each Day as it Being the GREATEST Day to be Here!" Andrea Boes 01/09. It's amazing how many lives she has touched! Though I have only met her a few times picking Ethan and one time at FatBoys, I have been truly blessed to know of her. I'm glad she's is no longer suffering.

Today, I watched the funeral procession leave from the church and I just wanted to take all the pain away from those families! But I realize the God is great no matter what!

Last night, as I held Ciara I realized that this is just another one of God's miracles! I do have so many blessings! I don't mean to complain and I don't want to sound like I'm the only one that has "emotional breakdowns." I know there are others! So today I'm going to try and be positive and thank God for everything I have been blessed with!

So, that's what I call a rollcoaster of a week. I had highs and lows, but in the end I believe I have grown closer to Him.

God bless you and your families, and have a safe weekend!

Keep Looking up!

Discouraged..

Wow I'm totally awful about keeping up to date! Many things have happened since Feb. 24! The season finale of the BACHELOR! Like the millions of others that watch this, I was totally upset! grr.. STUPID GUY! I'm ready for next season... This is why I brought up this topic for my girls.. I read in the new People magazine last night, If you didn't already know Melissa is now on Dancing with the Stars, I watched it the first night and she had only 48 hours to learn while others had weeks. Let me tell you she did AMAZING! She got one of the top scores! So I was cheesy and called and voted for her! Anyways, back to the magazine, at the end of the little interview she said, I don't care if Jason or Molly watch. I don't need there vote!! She's right she doesn't. She got a standing ovation before she even made a dance move! How cool!.. Ok enough on that I'm addicted...
Last weekend was my girls weekend in Huntsville, AL. We had a blast. We stayed at the Embassy Suites. The first night, Friday, my Aunt got the bellhop to give us free pop, popcorn, and a FREE movie! The movie was $13 and we got it free! We went to three different malls! At our first stop (DSW) we walked out the door with 9 pairs of shoes! The rest of the day I picked up little things here and there! All in all it was great to enjoy time with my family!
This week I've been on Spring Break. I fill like I haven't even had a break. Monday I just unpacked my suitcase, watched Y & R, went to the Y, and that's about it. Tuesday I went to Bloomington to see two of my besties! We ate at steak and shake, walked on campus, and went back to the apartment and burnt cookies and cinnamon rolls! We even set the fire alarm off! OPPS!
The rest of the week is a blurr... Thursday I went to a Lia Sophia party. Wednesday and Friday I worked at the Preschool and tonight and tomorrow I work at Redbones! Today we're having the Borden Boys Basketball team in to eat. We were told to treat them well because they may get to play North Daviess tonight! lol And Borden has probably never had so many Viking Fans!

Now, on a serious note! Do you often get discouraged? Feel selfish? Most of you know I'm heading to Haiti in a few months. Well, I sent out 30 some support letters almost a month ago. I really didn't even want to send them out because I felt selfish! I didn't want to ask people for money that's just not me. So, there were two options of my letter. 1. Pray for me and my team and 2. Pray and support financially. I didn't want people to think they had to give in the gift of money!!. We need just as much pray! Anyways, I became discouraged after 3 weeks of having letters out, I had only received 5! I talked to my mom and grandma about it on our way to Huntsville, saying I don't expect people to give, I just want to know that they are behind me in the things I'm doing! I want to know I have people that will be praying for us. I would ask God is this a sign? I'm a not suppose to go? The only word that I could come up with was DISCOURAGED! I knew in my heart that I needed to take this journey! I feel I have God's support! But I wanted my family's support also! I tried not to worry about it over the "girls weekend" and I didn't. Sunday night when we got home, I hadn't received any letters over the weekend! My heart just sunk and became discouraged once again. I told myself that God was in control, and He knows my heart. Monday when we received the mail. I couldn't believe it! I had received 4 letters!! 4 Letters!! When I opened the first letter, I began to cry! The check was written for a generous amount! I was speechless. I felt like God was telling me I needed to just have patience! He will provide for me!
Way to often do we become discouraged quickly. I know I do!
So, I'm working on that!
Enjoy your weekend!
Keep looking up!