Advice..

Where to begin?
I've been hurt and I'm trying to forgive... Saying you forgive someone and actually forgiving a person are two different things!!
Back story:
Who I considered my best friend in high school, got married and I was not even told about the wedding..Since one of my other bff's was in the wedding, I found out about it. I was hurt. I didn't have to be a part of the wedding, I just felt like after all the years we had spent together didn't add up to much... I went to this girls sister's wedding.. weird..I just wanted to BE there. I'm struggling with forgiving..
I saw this girl tonight... Again, it is awkward, since we never speak and DIDN'T!!
I'm tired of awkwardness...
I turned to my new Bible that I purchased and love.... I looked up friendship. Here is what I found:
Proverbs 17:9
"He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends."
Then it goes on to explain that:
" This proverb is saying that we should be willing to forgive others' sins against us. Covering over offenses is necessary to any relationship. It is tempting, especially in an argument, to bring up all the mistakes the other person has ever mad. Love, however, keeps it's mouth shut-difficult though that may be.... As we grow to be like Christ, we will acquire God's ability to forget the confessed sins of the past."
Is this God telling me to act like nothing happened?
Too some who read this you may think this is silly, but it is something I am struggling with. This is one of my chains, tied around my heart, in which, I'm searching for answers.
God wants us to forgive, but what happens when we can't? How are we to get past?
Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times..." This verse goes on to talk to our loyalty to our friends.... Maybe I'm to blame, maybe I wasn't a loyal friend, listener whatever I needed to be for her.
I guess what I'm really asking is for advice? How do you guys forgive those who hurt you??

Coming up next.....

Be ready I have decided to write down 100 things I want to do in my life before I die! I was watching Oprah today(never do) and her show was about completing dreams that you have. Kenny Chesney was on there, his dream was to take his grandma flying in an airplane which she had never done. I thought it was a great idea to write down some of my dreams/goals and check them off as I go! I have completed two of my goals in this past month... I'll share more later! I'm excited!

Joy

September 2008: Job interview that would impact my life...
October 2008: Start my new job at.... WC Preschool/CC
I meet this little boy. Little did I know he would one day teach me a lesson.
March 17, 2009: This little boy lost his mother, I remember days after this I would just hold him and days we laughed together, played tag together....
When he returned to school, kids often made comments like: "he doesn't have a mommy."
One day we were playing outside and Ethan came to me and sad, "My daddy says if I close my eyes real tight I can see my mommy and I can talk to her anytime."
I may have told you this in another post but.. I found it replaying in my mind last night as I was reading Abbie's blog. I went to bed with tear filled eyes as the picture in her blog made me speechless. I only met Andrea twice. She may have not even known my name, which is funny because I feel I know so much about her life in how her friends and family love and continue to find a cure.
As I said Abbie's post could not have been written any better...
I laid in bed lost for words...
confused......as to why God does what He does? I prayed for the Boes family and for me to find meaning in all of this...
This Morning..... I read...... "PSALMS 30:5 ....weeping may remain for a night, but joy comes in the morning...."
Wow right? Did I read this in my Bible? No
It was on the very 1st page of a book a started reading today. So when I got home I opened my Bible and read some more....
verse 5.."For His anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. V6. When I felt secure, I said "I will never be shaken."
It is always good to know God is with us, even when we are down in the dumps. When I read this I knew I needed to be thinking of all the JOY this boy brought to my life! How much he looks like his mom is just another symbol of her life, a reminder that we should live life to the fullest for tomorrow is never a given...
Saturday I will take part in the Andrea Boes Relay for life 5K/10K. I'm not a runner so this should be interesting! BUT I know God with be with us, and when He is with us we can NEVER be shaken!